On the First Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me the gift of desperation and a life of unmanageability
On the Second Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me a belief that there was something much bigger than me and the hope of being set free.
On the Third Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me, that the Bigger than me could set me free if I could and would agree wholeheartedly
On the Fourth Step to a life worth living my Higher power gave to me courage and a writing pen and spoke about notes and the loss of friends, family and morality, and this would give me new eyes to see what was my part in a stock taking bottom line accountability
On the Fifth Step to a life worth living my Higher power gave to me a chance to speak of my worst and my best and get it off my chest with another caring being who could introduce me to God for the very first time.
On the Sixth Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me the strength to let go of all things that were spiritually blocking me.
On the Seventh Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me a sense of time that was no longer mine, and said to overcome I have to let go and learn about trust, and if I was to grow this was a must.
On the Eight Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me a list of all those who had felt my sting and be willing to patch the scratch, fill the gouge and cross the fiery bridge with humility and an olive branch.
On the Ninth Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me seven league boots to travel to ends of all creation and a hat to hold when asking for the forgiveness of gold, and to make whole what once was broken, to give back what was stolen, recant the vicious lie whatever the cost, and do no further damage to another’s man’s heart..
On the Tenth Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me the mirror of accountability, the task was to examine all my actions for it was journey with many distractions and when off course set it right immediately no how big the bite, and God would see to the rest, and it was after all for my very best if done each and every night.
On the Eleventh Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me a personal conversation with God to speak the words of gratitude for the rescue from a hopeless state, and listen for thoughtful instruction for course corrections to my spiritual compass and examine every mistake.
On the Twelfth Step to a life worth living my Higher Power gave to me, the spirit of the universe now alive and growing in me. With the agreement that if I stay the narrow way, I would find my greatest joy in work or at play, for when I am in the service to my fellows beings I am but in the service of my God. When sharing the living gift of recovery we fill the measure of our creation and find joy therein. For love and tolerance is our code and service to our fellow beings we have found to be the lightest load.
Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy.
Mahatma Gandhi
For when we are in the service of our fellow beings are we not in the service of out God, and in that service and in that moment are we not divorced from self delusion, self seeking, and self pity and in the service and in that moment is that not when we make our conscious contact with our creator, who lives from moment to moment, eternity to eternity, life ever lasting, the magic words in A.A. is Action and more Action for faith without works is dead.
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As I look back and reflect I give credit to God to lead me to AA and learn to actively take a part in changing my life for the better. Today though nothing is perfect, I can honestly say I feel like my life is manageable and without chaos. I see how my road to recovery allows me to help others with gratitude and willingness that was missing in the early days of my recovery. I will forever remember June 9, 1997 as the turning point to finding and loving myself.