I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost
Decisions, decisions; we come into recovery with broken pickers.
We have made decisions to take the hard back roads that have not served us well. Our decision making is suspect at best. Our sponsor is the obvious choice to seek guidance and direction. Sponsors are asked all sorts of things. Should I stay married? get married?, buy a house?, change jobs?, get a job?, (yes), and on and on. The basic suggestion is to change playmates and playgrounds. But not to make any drastic or sudden life-changing alterations in your first year of recovery while avoiding any “romantic entanglements as well. The person who you are now may not be the same person you will be then. And you are best served by keeping the focus on working the Twelve Steps, staying sober and extending the hand of A.A. to the alcoholic who still suffers.
I WOULD LIKE TO RENEGOTIATE THE TERMS, LIFE ON MY TERMS, NOT ON LIFE’S TERMS; SORRY IT’S NON NEGOTIABLE
Decisions still have to be made. Just because we get sober, gravity did not go away. Life sometimes requires hard choices and consequential decisions.
Agency (free will) is the cornerstone of recovery. Sponsors only make suggestions based on experience, strength, and hope. When a sponsee asks me for my opinion on a life changing decision, I direct them to a decision making tool. I remind them that this is their life and a big part of recovery is becoming responsible for their decisions and their consequences.
PRAYER, MEDITATION AND BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center. On one side: all the pros (positives); on the other side all the cons (negatives). This gives the opportunity to weigh in your mind, to confront on paper, all the possible benefits, and all the possible consequences; then sleep on it. Having pondered, weighed and measured make your decision aye (yes) or nay (no). Now pray, pray and meditate that your decision is the correct one. If you have clarity of thought and a positive demeanor it is an affirmation that your decision is correct. If you have stupor of thought and an uneasy or negative feeling that also is a confirmation. And then don’t look back, as we don’t buy into the outcome. We have done all that we can do, and leave the rest to a loving God.
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