What do I do when my sponsee is seeing a therapist who says that the sponsee doesn’t have to work the Steps because they are covering their basic problems in therapy? What if my sponsee is suicidal?

WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY SPONSEE IS SEEING A THERAPIST WHO SAYS THAT THE SPONSEE  DOESN’T  HAVE TO WORK THE STEPS BECAUSE THEY ARE COVERING THEIR BASIC PROBLEMS IN THERAPY?

DR. FRANKENSTIEN HAS SUGGESTED A SIMPLE BRAIN TRANSPLANT, THE BRAIN OF ABBY NORMAL IS AVAIABLE THE ONLY SIDE EFFECT IS HE COULD BE AN ALCOHOLIC

“The bad news is, the doctor gave you an alcoholic brain; …

Dr. Tiebout was an early and enthusiastic supporter of A.A. and the two men developed a longstanding  friendship. During this period, Bill Wilson relied on A.A. and its Twelve Steps to keep him sober. He relied on Dr.Tiebout to help him make progress on other issues in his life. Dr Tiebout never presumed to treat Bill’s alcoholism.

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization. Sigmund Freud

Coming between your sponsee and their therapist is a no win situation. You have the right, however, to point out to your sponsee that Twelve Step programs are the most effective treatment for addictions and compulsions,  a statement confirmed by scientific research, common sense and years of practical experience.
What your sponsee claims the therapist has said and what the therapist has actually said may be very different. Ask your sponsee if they are trying to use the therapist as an excuse to avoid the hard work of the Steps. If your sponsee continually refuses to work the Steps continue to make them available. Remind your sponsee that if they are not working the Steps they maybe sober but they are not in recovery. When life on life’s terms make it an imperative, when the pain of living becomes great enough your sponsee will be ready and not before.

WHAT IF MY SPONSEE IS SUICIDAL?

SUICIDE IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF SELF-CRITICISM

SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM

YOU CAN ALSO REMIND YOUR SPONSEE, THAT SUICIDE IS ALSO CONSIDERED A SLIP

There is no easy answer to this difficult question. Each situation is different. If there is a clear and present danger, you may need to suggest that your sponsee call 911. Otherwise, we have a responsibility to see that our sponsee has told a member of their family (spouse, sibling, parent) about the suicidal feelings or that they have sought professional help. Beyond that, all you can do is be available on a reasonable basis and turn it over. The basic guidelines is that you are not in charge of your sponsee’s life, and even a decision as profoundly as important as life or death is your sponsees to make. It is not in your power to keep someone alive.

No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect. George Bernard Shaw

You also have a responsibility to yourself in these cases. Should your sponsee commit suicide, you want to know that you have done everything you could reasonably have done to prevent it. In the tragic event that your sponsee opts for the solution of death to relive their alcoholism, you don’t want to burden yourself with guilt because you did not urge them or  to get help or second guess yourself that if you has done things differently. Ask yourself what behavior would be reasonable under those circumstances. Seek the advice of your sponsor Do all that you can do and turn the rest over to God. Remember, it’s a fool that seeks logic in the chambers of the human heart. There is always sadness at the fall of a comrade. This unfortunate turn of events should not stop us from working with the new man. We remain in action being of maximum service to God and our fellows and we let the dead bury the dead.