Alcohol and Drug informational resource

Do I have to do what my sponsor says? What if my sponsor is over protective & wants to run my life

DO I HAVE TO DO WHAT MY SPONSOR SAYS?

Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways …I’m sure you’ve discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain.

Actually no, but you might want to consider why you are resisting the suggestion your sponsor has offered. If you think that your sponsor is wrong, we discuss the issue using the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, your grand sponsor and God as the final arbitrator.

ELECTRO GLIDE, SHOVELHEAD, SPORTSTER, OR SOFT TAIL

Sponsorship styles vary significantly from person to person. Some sponsors are stricter than others; some are more inclined to offer advice, make demands, or give orders. For some people new to recovery, being told what to do may work, for others, it does not. If your problem with your sponsor stems from their style rather than from one or two specific suggestions, discuss this issue. their sponsorship style is to tell you what to do rather than offer suggestions or share their experience, strength and hope, you have a right and an obligation to bring this up to your sponsor. While you sponsor may guide your recovery program, it is not their responsibility to run your life. No matter how poorly we managed in the past, it remains our life and personal responsibility is a cornerstone of long term recovery.

WHAT IF MY SPONSOR IS OVERPROTECTIVE AND WANTS TO RUN MY LIFE?

My sponsor covers me like a cheap hazmat suit

Confront the overprotection by discussing it with your sponsor. If your sponsor agrees with you (good luck) and is willing to do something about it, you have strengthened the relationship. If your sponsor does not agree or dismisses the inquiry off handedly and you have been thoughtful, patient and prayerful, it might be time to find a more effective sponsor. A sponsor’s behavior style in early sobriety might have worked and worked well and may not be as effective for you later on. Don’t rationalize yourself into leaving a beneficial relationship in order to escape facing an issue or doing some hard work.