A balk is a false start with no follow through, having lack luster intent and no singleness of purpose.
It’s the failure of a player to achieve forward motion, when placed in a position to be of maximum service
The traffic light took it’s time, as it was a little longer than a New York minute. It was just enough of an accelerated pace to complete the first Three Steps, if not in practice, surely in the shortest space of comprehension.
The pain slips away as we laugh at the shame that now becomes the usual experience when it’s heard and then held in common. We talk it out, we laugh it out, and we have come to new plateaus of agreement. When is the next meeting? I can hardly wait to get my spiritual bump, and savior the sage wisdom that has comes alive from the near dead denizen dregs that once resided on the bar room floor, and now have found an elevated platform of redemption. Sometimes I can hardly be contained as I practice to learn when it’s my turn to talk, sometimes I shrink and wish I was dead, so I can be relieved from the constant chatter still alive in my head.
Less I forget, recovery is a co-ed proposition, Phillies still hot from the trot, and mares experienced in the long Gallup as well the premature jump. Stallions that would head em off at the end of the bar perched on the stool closest to the ladies room. And now enter the rooms come weary and worn-out ponies, sick with life before they had a chance to take a bite, searching for a clue on how to live it.
We are Orphans from the storm struggling to stay warm in the firelight of a common experience. This may all be well, and do us much good, but to some it is a restraint to the much needed action. The Steps are the key to long term sobriety and a life that is joyous and free. At some of these we balked, we thought we could find an easier softer way Do the meetings themselves become that easier softer way? Deterring us from the task at hand while giving us a community of complacency? The sums of these are Steps Four and Five, the beginning of true kinship between God and Man and the sum of these is Step Nine, humility and restitution. I can only speak from my own experience as I made the Balk into an art form of my own procrastination, until tragedy beset me and pain made me willing to get back into action, and not until, I remained wasting away sober but not in recovery bordering just south of insanity in MeetingsVille.
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